I enjoy a salted potato chip. And by “a chip” I mean a whole bag. Lately I’ve been into sea salted chips cooked in avocado oil, but I’ve also been known to dabble in salt & pepper flavored, and good old Ruffles. Yum. In all my (many) pleasurable snack times with chips, not once have I ever thought, “Gee, I wish I could enjoy this flavor as an alcoholic beverage.” It appears that someone did have that thought, which is how distillers at Empirical lured Frito-Lay into concocting this new unholy abomination: Doritos Nacho Cheese alcohol. Do we not have enough troubles in this world?
Thanks to Doritos, you can now enjoy the classic Nacho Cheese chip flavor in any alcoholic drink you can imagine. The company is officially teaming up with Empirical to bring fans an exclusive, limited-edition Doritos Nachos Cheese-flavored alcohol.
“Doritos is all about disrupting culture and bringing our fans unexpected, bold experiences,” said Tina Mahal, Senior Vice President of Marketing for Frito-Lay North America, of the venture in a new press release.
Mahal went on, “We’re always pushing our fans to try new things, so we figure it’s time we disrupt the spirits category by offering our iconic nacho cheese flavor in a bottle.”
The process to create the new alcohol reportedly uses real Dorito chips to ensure “the full spectrum of flavors” are included in the spirit. According to the brand’s “Tasting Notes,” the new spirit tastes like “The real thing!… The spirit opens with umami and tangy aromas of nacho cheese, moving to the deeper, corn-forward flavors of the chip to finish on a soft salty note.”
The press release even included a few recipe suggestions for unique drinks called the Double Triangle Margarita, Mary Mary, and Doritos Bangarang.
Food influencer Markie Devo also shared the news on social media, and fans quickly hit up the comments with their reactions to Doritos’ newest product.
Some were not fans of the idea, with messages like “What The Hell” and “Gross. Hard pass,” while others were a bit more enticed, such as someone who wrote, “Whoooooooa.”
“I would drink this neat. 😍,” said a different Doritos fan, as another declared, even before trying it,” We need a Cool Ranch version!”
Someone else was interested until they saw the price tag, writing, “I would’ve definitely got it till I saw $65 😂 Come on.”
“My brain is still spinning from this one,” another user quipped.
The Empirical x Doritos® Nacho Cheese Spirit will be available in January for $65 in select markets in New York and California, or it can be ordered online. Pre-orders open on Dec. 13, at doritos.x.empirical.co.
This is insanity. Even more appalling, I went to Empirical’s website and it’s only available for preorder. The site boasts an origin story for this hideous booze, which boiled down to an employee had some Doritos in his lunch bag and a coworker threw them in the still to see what would happen. So basically, this concoction is brought to you by Bill & Ted. They really are high on themselves too (I was about to say “drank their own Kool Aid,” but feared giving them an idea for their next product). Empirical says they “sculpt a narrative arc of taste and aroma, overlaying the novel and the familiar; becoming sense memories we can share.” I’ll have a sense memory from drinking this, but I’ll refrain from sharing it so as not to gross you out. The listed ingredients are Malted Barley, Belgian Saison Yeast 2, and Doritos Nacho Cheese. It’s $65 for 750ml and you can order it online or find it at select markets. Of course, you could also just buy a Party Size bag of Doritos from Walmart for under $5 and add them to your beer. It couldn’t possibly taste any worse.
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